Get Me To The Church On Time
Picture this:
Its a beautiful, sunny, blue sky day. A black bird sitting in a cherry tree looks down at a gorgeous bride, clothed in ivory, sitting in a gleaming white Rolls Royce, gently chewing her immaculately manicured nails. A handsome chauffeur scratches his head, while he stares under the bonnet at the hissing, white, clouds of steam rising from the seriously sick engine.
He hears the brides gentle sobbing and turns to look at her tear streaked face.
"Don't worry, Miss," he says."All we have to do, is sit tight and wait for the back-up car."
As time ticks on the bride to me chews and the chauffeur carries on scratching his head and grunding his teeth because......what he doesn't tell her, that the back-up car is likely to be the bosses lime green…RELIANTIf you don't want this to be your nightmare. And if you want to 'get to the church on time,' then take heed, and plan carefully. Or, 'we're getting married in the morning' could turn out to be, 'we're getting married, sometime during the day'.
Vintage car; horse and cart; a 60's hot rod; or a 1000cc motorbike- whatever you choose, you'll want to arrive in style, unhurried and most importantly - on time.
Today, classic Rolls Royce's, Bentleys and Mercedes have taken the place of two white mice and a pumpkin, when it comes to taking Cinderella to the ball. Mainly, because they are wide, comfortable and have good-sized doors for those voluminous wedding gowns or tight, figure-hugging fishtails - so that the bride can slide out like a lady.
And there are a multitude of wedding car companies, offering everything from top of the range Rollers, to vintage Bentleys, reeking of old, cracked leather and polish.
However, if you are an ingrained romantic and the thought of arriving at your wedding in a horse and carriage is what really sends you, then think carefully about the distance you will have to travel, the time it might take and the weather. Wedding dresses don't look stunning, in damp or drenched.
On a bright sunny day, in the country, in the middle of summer, when there's only a mile to travel, a horse and carriage is almost more romance than a girl can stand. But in chilly autumn or frigid winter, when it's five miles to the church and ten to the reception, the romance will pale as the goose bumps multiply.
Of course, there are alternatives to the traditional Rolls or quadruped.
For the daringly adventurous, there's the abseil from a hovering helicopter- or free-falling from a plane at 12000 feet. These are expensive options and you'll have to do many hours of expensive practice.
For city dwellers, who want to keep the costs down, there is always the taxi. Not only do they have wide doors, but they also come in a variety of colours.
Then there is the option of hiring an open-topped bus, to transport the guests from the church to the reception.
If you want your gown to stand out in those all-important, post wedding photographs, it's a good idea to choose a car that's a few shades deeper in colour than your dress. Particularly if you intend to have some black and white photos taken.
It is standard practice to hire two cars- one for the Bride and her father, (or whoever is chosen to give her away) and one for the bride's mother and bridesmaids.
If you want to be sure that you've picked the right company, here are a few simple rules.
1- Seek recommendations from friends and family who have actually used wedding transport companies in the past.
2- Use the Internet and the hard copy advertising mediums. If a company has spent a fortune on advertising, then it's a good bet that they have spent time and money on their cars.
3- Make a short list of the most worthy contenders.
4- Find out how long they have been in business and whether they routinely keep back up vehicles in case of breakdowns? Do they carry umbrellas? - Just in case the heavens decided to put a damper on your big day.
5- Visit the companies and view their fleet. Never, never, never, select a car from the advertising alone.
6- Check the interior as well as the exterior.
7- Insist on a test drive.
8- Get a written quotation. Be sure that it includes all the extras, i.e. bunting, insurance, the hourly rate for overtime.
9- Write down the times and the address from which the passengers need to be collected and the address to which they need to be taken. Your chauffeur might be a wonderful driver, but does he have a clue about how to get to the church? And does he have an alternate route planned if the local council suddenly turn a hairline crack in the road, into a bottomless crevasse? So, include instructions on the best route to be taken.
10- If you require special extras, such as champagne on ice for you to sip on the way to the reception, then you must put that in writing too and get the cost in writing.
11- When you have chosen your car, it's always a good idea to keep in touch with the company on a regular basis. Especially in the weeks leading up to the big day. Just to check that they have not double booked your favorite love-chariots.
What about the groom?
Well, as well as arranging for the groom to get legless and chained naked to a lamppost after the stag night, it's usually the best man's job to be the chauffeur. Or arrange for the condemned to be transported in a blissful, love-lorn mist to the church in good time for the ceremony.
But don't leave it to chance. Make sure he knows what his duties are.
And finally, the great escape from the reception and all that washing up. If you are planning a first night in a local hotel, or even the one in which the reception is being held, remember to arrange for your luggage to be transported there. (Best man to the rescue.)
Fortunately, first nights don't normally require a great deal of luggage. (There are exceptions to this rule.)
However, if you are planning the great get away, to some sun kissed beach, where the drinks appear at the click of a sun-tanned finger, then the best man will have to arrange for your Teflon coated suitcases to be stowed securely in the back of a suitable vehicle, while he's busy tying old tins and pairs of shoes to the bumper.